Tonight has been a pretty awful night for me, emotionally speaking, and it’s been a real struggle for me to write. I’ve been unemployed for a few months now and despite my best efforts that still doesn’t seem to be changing. I have a (sorta) job editing a film soon but that won’t actually pay for probably a month or more. And it’s a one time gig so the stress of “what do I do when that job is done?” Is constantly on my mind.
Because of my unemployment I am stuck living with my parents. They’re great and I love them but I have very little privacy in this house. On top of all that I’ve been feeling very lonely and extra frustrated with the dating world as a whole. This is a really rough time in my life and it all seems to be culminating in my self esteem being in a constant flux ranging from “okay” to “absolute garbage.” This makes writing extremely difficult for me because when I dislike myself, I really dislike the things I create. Trying to cut it as a writer/filmmaker/artist of any kind is tough enough without all of this added stress. I’m not sure what exactly the point of this post is, but I have to count this as my daily writing because I can’t motivate myself to get anything else written.